The struggle really is REAL

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. - 1 Peter 5:10

As much as I hate to admit(because I'm stubborn), I struggle. There. I said it. Sometimes we're thrown off course from God...we don't understand the reasoning. We automatically assume that he's punishing us. Oh, but no...He helps us through these struggles. No hurt or pain in this world can overpower the one true love above. He mends all hurt and pain...sometimes in ways that we don't understand. He puts us through a  temporary pain so we won't continue to have pain over and over again. He's our father, he wraps his arms around us and hugs us so tight.

I'll bet he one to admit, I lay in bed at night and often cry while I tell him all the things I've done wrong and how sorry I am for those things. I cry as I tell all these things. I cry and let him take ahold of my heart...to comfort me. He's our security blanket...he's always listening to us...even when we think he's ignoring us..he listens..and he cares.

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#ThankfulThursday

Alright, I know everyone is so used to the hash tag of #throwbackthursday or #tbt...and everyone posts really old or semiold photos of themselves and(or) with their families or friends. I think it's time we start doing THANKFUL THURSDAY instead. Each Thursday, post what you're thankful for. God gives us each day to be thankful for but we can start a new trend.

God bless everyone!!! Remember EACH THURSDAY!!!

Our bodies are temples

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." -1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Think about this scripture and look at the picture above. Kind of scary, isn't it? Ya, see...these scales used to be my inner demon. I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer back in 2012 and had my thyroid removed(2 years cancer free yee yee!!!). After the surgery..this fear swallowed me. I was scared of gaining weight. I became so miserable and unhappy with myself. I was so unhappy, that I wouldn't eat.

The months went by and all I thought of was how many calories and fat my body was intaking. I was at the point where I would stress and worry myself sick over it. Everytime I'd look in the mirror, I wanted to lose just a few pounds more, and I'll be happy. No....the more I did that and the more I stepped on those scales, I wanted that number to get smaller and smaller.

My doctor noticed the significant weight loss, of course. He figured "oh, it's just your thyroid medicine, we'll switch it". I agreed with no hesitation...not telling him about my dark secret. I was now at the point where I would only eat a few bites of something, work out for an hour, and drink more than enough water. I drank the water to make sure I wouldn't get hungry the rest of the day.

I started getting sick more often than usual...when I mean sick, I mean couldn't get out of bed and weak beyond belief.

My coworkers(and customers) kept asking me if I was sick or if I didn't feel good. It was easy to simply reply "Oh, I'm just tired". I couldn't tell them either.

Finally...after all that starvation, I was at 99lbs(yes!! I was so excited!). But my hair was falling out..my body was wore out...my body didn't have the vitamins it needed. I had to have b12 shots every week for 4 weeks because it was so low. I was put on iron medicine.

I felt my bones sticking out of my body...thought it was the most glorious feeling in the world...oh...but that darn mirror was still there reminding me...the weight drop didn't help. I was still unhappy. I knew what I had to do but it was so hard to admit up to it. I had a problem. A horrible problem.

I made an appointment with my doctors nurse practitioner. They thought I was there for a normal check up...soon as she closed the door behind her...I cried saying that I needed help. I couldn't do it anymore. I knew if I did, I'd be dead right now. She made an appointment with a counselor...I was progressing tremendously but sadly, I didn't finish these sessions.

It's been about a year since I've seen the counselor but...I'm healthy again. I sometimes feel like I'll slip back into that dark place hence why I never step on the scales anymore. That number doesn't define me. That number shouldn't define any of you either, guys or girls.

God made us the way that we're supposed to be. He made us with flaws and so many imperfections. He loves that about us. He loves that we're not perfect. He's our father and we are his children. So, love yourself because you're loved just the way you are. Never let someone down you or make you feel like you're not good enough because you're so much more than that. You're so much more than a set of scales or that huge mirror in your bathroom.

Jennifer Lopez Purse

As promised, I said I would post a picture of my lovely new purse by J to the L-O. I stated before that I got a super good deal on this and I'm pretty proud of it

The purse isn't cheaply made and seems like the material will last quite sometime with proper care. It has diamond-like print all over it with some solid color as well. The color is Taupe and has two dark glitter stripes going down the front. The straps are studded towards the bottom; I'm always a fan of anything with studs on it. I absolutely love the color of it and the glitter gives it a pop of glamour without overdoing it. It's a huge purse, which I'm always a big fan of huge purses; I tend to stuff it full. I've gotten a lot of compliments on it so far and where I got the purse from....EBAY! :)

This is the second Jennifer Lopez purse I've purchased...I love her designs. They're so classy and glamorous at the same time.  Everyone should definitely check them out if you like the purse I've shown above. She also makes killer heels and gorgeous clothes.

Have you purchased anything from Jennifer Lopez? If so, what do you think of them?? :)

xo

My Immune System S-U-C-K-S

I can't believe I'm sick...again. No, wait, yes I can. I've had the immune system of an infant ever since I had cancer and lemme just tell ya...IT.IS.ANNOYING. I felt it coming on at work the other day and I KNEW it was going to be a bad one. I had to go to the doctor today(big surprise)..I'm now on 3 different meds. The weather here is the reason for the terrible sinus infection...it goes from 30 to 80 and around again. The temperature was around 30 this morning...ridiculous considering it's May and guess what? We're back to 80 on Wednesday! I'm hoping the meds will kick this stupid thing..I go to the beach in less than 2 weeks soooo yeah. I needed to rant as you can tell. I'm just over the whole being sick all the time thing.

Anyways, I hope everyone has had a good day/good evening

xoxo

Favorite Online Store aka eBay.

Okay, I'm confessing....right here...right NOW. I'm an ebay fuhreaaaaak!There I said it. I've found so many awesome deals on there! Anything from make-up, jewelry, clothes, and cell phone cases! Yes, I've bought used clothes before which look brand new. I actually purchased a brand new purse by Jennifer Lopez, which retails for $109.00 and I bought it for a little over $40.00!! I lucked up on this deal and I plan on posting pictures of my new beauty. One particular thing that I love about ebay is that you can check other users feedback. The users with the lowest(obviously) isn't someone you'd want to purchase from. I also get feedback for when I make payments and such on the products that I purchase. I'm over 100 on positive feedback percentage(yay me!!).

Another awesome thing about eBay is that they give you an estimate of when your purchase will arrive! I use USPS because UPS cannot find my physical address for some odd reason. You also have many options of payment, I prefer to use paypal..which is through my VISA card.

I've honestly purchased from eBay longer than any other online store. I love deals and I always seem to find the best one's on there. If you haven't tried eBay out before, I definitely recommend it. My ebay username is endlessdream06 so checkkkk it out :) I don't have anything listed but still....if you have anything to sale, I'd love to take a peek of what you have!

xo